Seeing marriage as a journey through stages — each with its own challenges and opportunities — offers couples a framework for understanding their relationship without judgement. Authors and researchers in the field of family science emphasize that marriages change over time, and that satisfaction naturally waxes and wanes with life events.
Therapy, when approached proactively rather than only in times of crisis, can bolster resilience at each stage. Whether it's helping newlyweds deepen understanding, supporting parents through the stress of raising children, or guiding empty nesters toward shared renewal, therapeutic work equips couples to navigate transitions with intention. At Aspen Psychology Group in Calgary, AB, our experienced therapists work with couples, families, individuals, teens, and children — wherever you are in life's journey.
Above all, viewing marital life as a dynamic process — one shaped by growth, challenge, and adaptation — reminds couples that change doesn't equal failure, and that every stage holds potential for deeper connection, richer understanding, and renewed commitment.
The Three Stages of Marriage
- The New Couple Phase
- The Parenting Phase (Life with Children)
- The Empty Nest Phase
Each stage brings unique joys and predictable challenges. Understanding these phases can help couples normalize change, respond with intention, and seek support when needed. Couples counselling in Calgary can be valuable in any of these stages — not because something is "wrong," but because growth requires attention and care.
The early years of marriage are often marked by excitement, hope, and possibility. Partners are learning not only about each other's preferences and personalities, but about how to function as a team. They are negotiating finances, household responsibilities, in-laws, career decisions, and long-term goals.
Family life cycle theory, developed in part by clinicians like Evelyn Duvall, describes this stage as the period in which couples establish a shared identity and create the emotional and practical structure of their partnership. During this time, communication patterns solidify. How partners handle conflict, repair misunderstandings, and offer support becomes the blueprint for later years.
The research of John Gottman has shown that small daily interactions — turning toward one another, expressing appreciation, managing conflict gently — have a profound impact on long-term marital stability. Similarly, the Vulnerability-Stress-Adaptation model developed by Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury highlights how couples' enduring traits, external stressors, and coping behaviors shape marital satisfaction over time.
How Couples Therapy in Calgary Can Help in This Stage
- Clarifying expectations around roles, finances, intimacy, and family boundaries
- Strengthening communication and conflict resolution skills
- Identifying personal triggers and attachment styles
- Building rituals of connection early
Premarital or early marital counselling in Calgary can act as preventative care — helping couples develop tools before stress intensifies. The therapists at Aspen Psychology Group offer couples counselling tailored to the unique needs of partners at every life stage.
Stage Two: Life with Children — Adaptation Under Pressure
The transition to parenthood is one of the most significant shifts in marital life. Research consistently shows that marital satisfaction often declines after the birth of a first child — not because love disappears, but because stress increases. Sleep deprivation, financial strain, shifting identities, and time constraints create new pressures.
Longitudinal studies have found that many couples experience dips in relationship quality during early parenting years. Emotional and logistical energy is redirected toward children. Conversations may revolve around schedules rather than dreams. Physical intimacy often becomes less spontaneous. Partners may feel unseen or overwhelmed.
This stage requires a renegotiation of partnership. Couples must redefine fairness, adjust expectations, and intentionally protect their connection. What once felt effortless now requires planning and intention.
Yet this season also brings profound meaning. Shared caregiving can deepen bonds when couples see themselves as allies. Mutual respect often grows as partners witness each other's devotion and resilience.
How Family Therapy in Calgary Can Help in This Stage
- Reframing parenting stress as a shared challenge rather than personal failure
- Preventing resentment through equitable role discussions
- Strengthening emotional attunement amid exhaustion
- Supporting intimacy and connection in realistic ways
- Addressing differences in parenting styles constructively
Family therapy and couples counselling in Calgary during the parenting years often focus on stress regulation, clear communication, and maintaining a couple identity alongside a parental identity. Aspen Psychology Group works with both couples and families — including children and teens — to support the whole family system.
Stage Three: The Empty Nest — Renewal and Rediscovery
When children leave home, couples enter another profound transition. The household becomes quieter. Daily routines shift. The roles that once defined much of adult life have changed significantly.
Contrary to popular belief, research indicates that many couples experience an increase in marital satisfaction during the empty nest years. Studies published in journals such as Psychological Science have shown that women in particular often report greater enjoyment of time with their spouse once children leave home. With fewer daily parenting demands, couples may rediscover shared interests and deepen companionship.
However, this stage can also surface unresolved issues. If partners have spent years functioning primarily as co-parents rather than romantic partners, they may feel unsure how to reconnect—some experience grief, loss of identity, or anxiety about aging and retirement.
This phase asks couples important questions:
- Who are we now?
- What do we want the next chapter to look like?
- How do we balance independence and togetherness?
How Marriage Counselling in Calgary Can Help in This Stage
- Processing the emotional impact of children leaving
- Rebuilding intimacy and shared rituals
- Addressing long-standing communication patterns
- Exploring new shared goals and life meaning
- Navigating midlife transitions, health concerns, or retirement
For many couples, this stage offers an opportunity for renewal — an intentional re-commitment to partnership with greater wisdom and maturity. If you are navigating this transition, the team at Aspen Psychology Group in Calgary is here to help.
The Importance of a Life-Cycle Perspective in Couples Therapy
Viewing marriage through a life-cycle lens normalizes change. Satisfaction is not meant to remain constant. External pressures, developmental tasks, and identity shifts influence every relationship.
What matters most is not avoiding difficulty, but responding to it collaboratively. Research across decades shows that couples who adapt, communicate openly, and seek support when needed tend to fare better long-term.
Therapy is not reserved for crisis. It can serve as:
- Preventative maintenance
- A space for structured reflection
- A bridge through major transitions
- A tool for strengthening connection
Marriage evolves because people evolve. The new couple stage builds the foundation. The parenting years test and refine it. The empty nest years offer an opportunity to expand and renew it.
When couples understand that each phase is both normal and navigable, they can approach change with curiosity rather than fear. With intention, support, and compassion for one another, every stage of marriage can become not just something to endure — but an opportunity to grow deeper in partnership.
Ready to Support Your Relationship?
Whether you are newly married, raising a family, or entering a new chapter together, Aspen Psychology Group offers compassionate, evidence-based couples therapy, marriage counselling, family therapy, and individual therapy in Calgary, AB. Our team also works with teens and children to support the whole family.
Reach out today to learn how we can help you and your partner navigate life's transitions — together.
Disclaimer: The content contained in this post is for informational/educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, consultation, diagnosis, or treatment. Please seek the advice of your qualified mental healthcare provider in your area with any personal questions you may have.
Also, PsychologyToday.com is a great resource for finding a mental health professional in your area.