For many families in Calgary, school can bring joy, excitement, and pride, but it can also bring stress, frustration, and emotional overwhelm. At Aspen Psychology Group in Calgary, we frequently support parents who are navigating school-related challenges with their children, from anxiety and emotional regulation difficulties to dips in confidence and academic pressure. One of the most powerful tools we focus on is building resilience.
Research consistently shows that resilience—not perfection—is one of the strongest predictors of long-term wellbeing, academic success, and emotional health. Children who develop resilience learn that while challenges are inevitable, they also have the ability to bounce back, recover, and grow.
Drawing from the work of Dr. Arielle Schwartz, known for her expertise in trauma recovery and nervous system regulation, and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a leading voice in child development and co-author of The Whole-Brain Child, this article explores evidence-based ways parents can help children build resilience, especially during school challenges.
Whether you're seeking support through child therapy in Calgary, wanting to better understand your child’s stress, or looking for practical tools to use at home, these strategies can help create a more connected and confident learning experience for your child.
Understanding Resilience: A Foundation for School Success
Resilience is not something a child either has or doesn’t have—it’s a skill that develops over time. Both Schwartz and Bryson emphasize that resilience grows through secure relationships, emotional regulation, and supportive environments.
From a psychological perspective, resilience includes:
- The ability to manage stress
- Confidence in problem-solving
- Healthy emotional expression
- Flexibility when plans change
- Capacity to seek help when needed
At Aspen Psychology Group, we often remind parents that children do not become resilient by facing challenges on their own. They become resilient through connection, stability, and repeated experiences of manageable difficulty.
1. Open Communication: Creating a Safe Space for Feelings
Open, non-judgmental communication is one of the most effective ways to build resilience in children. When kids feel safe talking about worries, frustrations, or school stress, their emotional burden decreases and their capacity to cope increases.
Dr. Tina Payne Bryson emphasizes the power of attuned responsiveness—the process of deeply listening and validating a child’s experience before jumping to problem-solving. This builds secure attachment, a key factor in emotional resilience.
Parents can say:
- “I can see this is really bothering you—tell me more.”
- “Thank you for trusting me with this.”
- “I’m here. We will work through this together.”
This kind of emotional safety helps children feel supported when school feels hard..
2. Balanced Expectations: Prioritizing Effort Over Achievement
Many school-related stressors stem from pressures around grades, performance, or comparison with peers. Both Schwartz and Bryson highlight the importance of focusing on effort, perseverance, and learning, rather than perfection.
Parents can shift the narrative by:
- Praising curiosity
- Celebrating persistence over outcomes
- Normalizing mistakes as part of learning
- Encouraging problem-solving rather than avoidance
This growth-oriented mindset helps children approach difficulties with confidence rather than fear.
3. Routine and Stability: Creating Predictability for Emotional Security
Children’s nervous systems thrive on predictability. Dr. Arielle Schwartz’s research on regulation emphasizes the importance of routines in supporting healthy emotional and neurological development.
Reliable daily rhythms give children:
- A sense of safety
- Clear expectations
- Easier transitions
- More capacity to handle stress
Helpful routines include:
- Consistent bedtime
- A predictable after-school flow
- Dedicated homework and rest periods
- Screen-free moments to decompress
4. Modeling Healthy Coping: Teaching Regulation Through Connection
Children learn emotional regulation through co-regulation—the process of watching, feeling, and internalizing how caregivers manage stress.
Parents can model healthy coping by:
- Taking deep breaths during frustrating moments
- Naming their emotions (“I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a break”)
- Moving their bodies (walks, stretching, shaking out tension)
- Practicing mindfulness or grounding
These practices align with both Schwartz’s focus on nervous system regulation and Bryson’s emphasis on emotional integration.
Over time, kids adopt these strategies, making them stronger, calmer, and more equipped to manage school stress.
5. Advocacy and Support: Partnering With Schools
Resilience grows when a child feels supported not only at home but also at school. Parents can strengthen a child’s sense of security and competence by collaborating closely with educators.
This advocacy might include:
- Discussing accommodations
- Coordinating with learning support teams
- Monitoring peer relationships
- Ensuring emotional needs are recognized
Resilience Helps Children Thrive—Not Just Survive
When resilience is nurtured, children learn they can handle challenges, ask for help, and recover from setbacks. They develop confidence not only in their academic abilities but in their identity, relationships, and emotional strength.
At Aspen Psychology Group in Calgary, we support children and families in building the internal and external resources needed to thrive. Through child therapy, parent coaching, and school collaboration, our team helps families navigate school stress with clarity and compassion.
If your child is struggling with school-related anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or confidence, our Calgary child psychologists are here to help.
What helps your child feel confident when school feels hard?
Additional Resources:
The Whole Brain Child - Daniel Seigle & Tina Payne Bryson (2012)
Disclaimer: The content contained in this post is for informational/educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, consultation, diagnosis, or treatment. Please seek the advice of your qualified mental healthcare provider in your area with any personal questions you may have.
Also, PsychologyToday.com is a great resource for finding a mental health professional in your area.